1 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:06,206 Gossip girl here... Your one and only source 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:09,679 into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,441 Top story on my home page... 4 00:00:11,442 --> 00:00:13,643 Serena Van Der Woodsen, everybody's favorite "it" girl 5 00:00:13,644 --> 00:00:16,686 has just returned from a mysterious absence 6 00:00:16,687 --> 00:00:18,648 and was learning the hard way 7 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:21,651 that you can never go home again. (Cell phone rings) 8 00:00:21,652 --> 00:00:27,527 You'll never believe what's on "gossip girl." Someone saw Serena getting off a train at grand central. 9 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,599 Serena? Serena's at school. 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,332 Why'd she return? Let me guess... You told everyone 11 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,664 Eric's just visiting grandpa in Rhode Island. 12 00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:36,766 Your aunt Carol in Miami. He tries to take his own life, 13 00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:40,240 and you're worried it's gonna cost you mom of the year? 14 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,713 Must be a lot of rumors why you're back. None of them mention you. 15 00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:47,577 Nate's gonna wait for Serena. He can get in line behind that guy. 16 00:00:47,578 --> 00:00:50,120 I don't need some new boy influencing her, 17 00:00:50,121 --> 00:00:53,483 distracting her from her needs. A kid like Dan is exactly what Serena needs. 18 00:00:53,484 --> 00:00:55,385 Guess who's dad is cool? 19 00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:57,557 It's a trick question. Yeah, 'cause it can't be ours. 20 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,130 You're going out with Serena, and I'm going 21 00:01:00,131 --> 00:01:03,062 to kiss on the lips. Who said this family wasn't cool? 22 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,165 I thought everything was good between us. 23 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,567 It was... before I found out you had sex with my boyfriend. 24 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,699 Great, just in time for brunch. 25 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,642 I told her to stay away. 26 00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:16,106 I'm not sneaking around with you. Just to talk. 27 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:18,348 You said you'd never speak to her again. 28 00:01:18,349 --> 00:01:21,351 So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend. Is that true? 29 00:01:21,352 --> 00:01:23,813 Then she ran away and lied about it. 30 00:01:23,814 --> 00:01:28,087 Poor Daniel... so little time, so many sluts to defend. 31 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,719 (Woman screams) (Crash) 32 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,322 This world, it's... it's crazy. 33 00:01:32,323 --> 00:01:35,365 And you're a part of it. 34 00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:37,597 Blair, how can I fix this? 35 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,670 You don't, Serena. You just stay away. 36 00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:42,672 But now that Serena is back, 37 00:01:42,673 --> 00:01:45,104 will the Upper East Side ever be the same? 38 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,606 It takes two to tango, 39 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:50,180 and girls like these don't go down without a fight. 40 00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:52,612 And who am I? 41 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,216 That's a secret I'll never tell. 42 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,218 You know you love me. 43 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:02,723 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 44 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,855 (Girls choir) ♫ g-l-a-m ♫ 45 00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:07,597 There's plenty of upside 46 00:02:07,598 --> 00:02:10,430 to being the spawn of the fabulously wealthy. 47 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,402 But the downside? 48 00:02:12,403 --> 00:02:14,434 Super successful parents 49 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,866 except nothing less from their offspring. 50 00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:20,270 And when it comes to college, that means the ivies. 51 00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,572 It's more than just getting into college. 52 00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:26,216 It's setting a course for the rest of your life. 53 00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:29,219 And for those few who aren't legacies, 54 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:31,751 the pressures are no less. 55 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,883 When parents have sacrificed for their children's futures, 56 00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:36,186 what kid would wanna let them down? 57 00:02:36,187 --> 00:02:39,629 ♫ G-l-a-m ♫ ♫ g-l-a-m ♫ 58 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:43,193 ♫ o-r-o-u-s, yeah ♫ ♫ o-r-o-u-s ♫ 59 00:02:43,194 --> 00:02:45,565 ♫ g-l-a-m ♫ ♫ g-l-a-m ♫ 60 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:49,339 ♫ o-r-o-u-s, yeah ♫ ♫ o-r-o-u-s ♫ 61 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:52,602 ♫ we're flying first class up in the sky ♫ 62 00:02:52,603 --> 00:02:56,576 ♫ poppin' champagne, livin' the life ♫ 63 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,878 (School bell rings) 64 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,382 ♫ I won't change by the glamorous ♫ 65 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,214 ♫ ooh, the flossy, flossy ♫ 66 00:03:04,215 --> 00:03:06,386 ♫ the glamorous, glamorous, by the glamorous ♫ 67 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:11,491 ♫ ooh, the flossy, flossy ♫ ♫ change ♫ 68 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,864 (Woman) Thank you, ladies. 69 00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:17,497 Good morning, students. I ask all of you 70 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:21,200 to show a little sympathy for our junior class. 71 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,933 They are almost through with Ivy week. 72 00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:25,935 As is our long-standing tradition, 73 00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:27,537 the constance billard girls 74 00:03:27,538 --> 00:03:30,280 will be in charge of Friday night's mixer, 75 00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:32,582 and the St. Jude's boys 76 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:35,385 will provide the ushers for the visiting representatives. 77 00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:37,387 (Woman) For those of you who dream 78 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,319 of attending an Ivy league school, 79 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,852 this mixer is the most important event of your life. 80 00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:45,695 But no pressure. (Both chuckle) 81 00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:49,299 Ah, it's not that bad. It looks like I shaved with a wood chipper. 82 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,831 I was going with more of a chain saw. Not helping. 83 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:55,335 Not trying to. Hey, look on the bright side... You're not a hemophiliac. 84 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:58,237 Otherwise, you'd... You'd be in the emergency room. 85 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,570 And that's helping? Mm, not really. 86 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,573 (Rufus) Dartmouth's gonna love you. Yeah, I gotta believe 87 00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:04,974 being able to shave is a prerequisite for attending. 88 00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:07,577 No one is better qualified, 89 00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:09,979 no one is smarter, more well-rounded... Or wounded? It's not like 90 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,352 I have a trust fund to fall back on, dad. 91 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,724 You know, all I have is what's up here. Oh. 92 00:04:14,725 --> 00:04:17,026 (Rufus) Well, that is the most important thing. 93 00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:18,728 College is about academic excellence, 94 00:04:18,729 --> 00:04:20,590 not your stock portfolio. 95 00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:22,732 Besides, you're gonna do great in your interview. 96 00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,764 You take after your dad that way. 97 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,796 Spotlight doesn't phase us. 98 00:04:26,797 --> 00:04:29,369 Ooh, you better hope there's not a spotlight involved. 99 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,801 I'm your sister. It's what I do. 100 00:04:31,802 --> 00:04:34,305 Not when it's about dartmouth. 101 00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:40,610 (Woman) Remember, students... Nathaniel, a little wake and bake? 102 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,612 We have our interviews today. 103 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:43,853 My point exactly. 104 00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:45,715 (Whispers) I have my 1-hitter. 105 00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,317 (Woman) But underclassmen 106 00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:49,058 should consider this week a dress rehearsal. 107 00:04:49,059 --> 00:04:51,491 You are not only representing yourselves this week, 108 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:56,326 but generations from our school and your families. 109 00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:58,328 ♫♫ 110 00:04:58,329 --> 00:04:59,929 (Panting) 111 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:02,031 Try not to cut me off next time. 112 00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:04,434 You almost knocked me over the side of the bench. 113 00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:07,807 I didn't cut you off. (Laughs) 114 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,709 I didn't mean to. You win fair and square, 115 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,011 and nothing could make me prouder... 116 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,844 Till you get in the old Alma mater, that is. Dad, we talked about this, 117 00:05:14,845 --> 00:05:18,548 about me keeping my options open, looking out west. Yeah, of course, 118 00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:20,089 but let's get serious here. 119 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,592 Someone with your grades wants to get into dartmouth, 120 00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:25,425 you need to appear to be working for it. Dad, I... 121 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:28,057 Ushering the rep is a good step. How come every time I bring up going to u.S.C, 122 00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:30,930 you act like it's a joke? Nate, there's a plan here. 123 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,963 Maybe I want to make my own plan. Listen, your mother and I didn't work this hard 124 00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:36,666 so you can just make things up as you go along. 125 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,008 Dartmouth, law school, Blair. 126 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,941 Soon you're gonna have everything. 127 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,814 Listen, I'm late for work. Nail that interview today. 128 00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:48,017 Go, green! 129 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:51,681 (Woman) As part of Ivy week's festivities, 130 00:05:51,682 --> 00:05:54,023 at tomorrow night's mixer, 131 00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,426 Blair Waldorf will announce the charity 132 00:05:56,427 --> 00:05:59,859 her community outreach committee will honor this year. 133 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,031 Have you seen Serena? I wonder where she is. 134 00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:05,064 And you know what I wonder? 135 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,997 How I'm supposed to hear anything about Yale 136 00:06:07,998 --> 00:06:10,369 with all this talk about Serena. 137 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,001 ♫♫ 138 00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:14,874 Do you remember when dad gave me my first Yale sweatshirt? 139 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,876 I don't think any piece of clothing 140 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,708 has ever fit me more perfectly, 141 00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:20,780 not to mention how adorable I found that bulldog. 142 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,082 Remember when I asked you if I could get a bulldog? 143 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,415 Good call, by the way, saying no. 144 00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:28,157 And now the big day is finally here. 145 00:06:28,158 --> 00:06:30,590 Soon Nate and I will be away at college. 146 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,062 Him coming down to Yale, me going up to dartmouth. 147 00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:35,725 Dad flying in for the Princeton game. 148 00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:38,968 I hope it doesn't make you feel old watching me grow up. 149 00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,800 Eat up, miss Blair. 150 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:44,674 Your mom would want you to have a good breakfast. 151 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:48,178 ♫♫ 152 00:06:50,881 --> 00:06:53,483 (Woman) And now headmaster Prescott... 153 00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:55,144 So Serena's really not here? 154 00:06:55,145 --> 00:06:58,147 That's what I said. When you weren't supposed to be talking. 155 00:06:58,148 --> 00:07:00,419 (Man) Thank you, miss tedrow. 156 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,093 ♫♫ 157 00:07:05,195 --> 00:07:06,956 Serena, come on. Hurry up. You're gonna be late. 158 00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:08,828 I am! And I know. 159 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,900 You know, you shouldn't have stayed at your brother's again. 160 00:07:10,901 --> 00:07:14,564 I mean, why sleep there? It's not like he can even see you. 161 00:07:14,565 --> 00:07:16,065 His eyes are closed. 162 00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,908 Do you have one maternal bone in your entire body? 163 00:07:18,909 --> 00:07:21,541 Serena, you need your rest, okay? It's Ivy week. 164 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,973 I know, and if I can get out of this hotel room, 165 00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:26,445 it's my sole mission in life to impress that brown rep. 166 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,619 Well, I am so thrilled to hear you say that's still your plan, 167 00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,180 because, I mean, 168 00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:33,182 I know it's something we've always talked about, 169 00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:35,184 but honestly, since you've been back, 170 00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:38,057 I've, uh, wondered if your mind was even on college. 171 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,189 Look, mom, I've had my mind on a lot of things. 172 00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,891 But since recent events, 173 00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:43,963 going away to college sounds pretty good. 174 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,035 How, um, how did you leave things with Dan? 175 00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:47,897 I don't want to talk about it. 176 00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:50,970 What's going on with you and Blair? Mom, please! 177 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,172 It's o... look, all I wanna do 178 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,204 is just finish high school in peace 179 00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:57,246 and go away to a state 180 00:07:57,247 --> 00:07:59,849 with lots of people who don't know who I am 181 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,952 and just start over, okay? 182 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,016 Take a cab. Don't walk. 183 00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:10,591 (Indistinct conversations) 184 00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:14,263 (Under breath) Oh, god. 185 00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:16,866 (Normal voice) God, please don't tell me it's over. 186 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:20,499 What? You were there. I-I would say it's pretty over. 187 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,501 I meant the assembly. 188 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,505 Oh, right. No, yeah, no, it just ended now. 189 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,737 Damn it. 190 00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:30,881 Anyway, good luck. 191 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,143 Yeah, you, too. 192 00:08:34,144 --> 00:08:36,946 Oh, too bad you missed the assembly. 193 00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:39,248 Not that it matters. 194 00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:41,721 Brown doesn't offer degrees in slut. 195 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,252 Spotted... 196 00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:47,156 S. Not so fashionably late and dressed down by b. 197 00:08:47,157 --> 00:08:49,298 Game on, ladies. (Whistle blows) 198 00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:52,161 (Will.i.am) ♫ baby, where'd you get your body from? ♫ 199 00:08:52,162 --> 00:08:54,604 ♫ Tell me where'd you get your body from ♫ 200 00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:56,305 ♫ baby, where'd you get your body from? ♫ 201 00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:59,308 ♫ Tell me where'd you get your body from ♫ 202 00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:02,311 (Woman) ♫ I got it from my mama, I got it from my mama ♫ 203 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,814 Look, I made a mistake with Nate, okay? 204 00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,716 But then you sabotaged me with Dan. 205 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:09,178 We don't have to be friends, but... oh! (Whistle blows) 206 00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:10,820 Ugh! What's up, Waldorf? 207 00:09:10,821 --> 00:09:12,722 Sorry. It slipped. 208 00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:14,283 I'm fine. 209 00:09:14,284 --> 00:09:16,826 (Blows whistle) 210 00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:20,630 I really want to believe that was an accident. Then you must be delusional. 211 00:09:20,631 --> 00:09:22,992 ♫ Where'd you get your body from ♫ 212 00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:26,135 ♫ baby, where'd you get your body from? ♫ (Blows whistle) 213 00:09:26,136 --> 00:09:27,997 Thank you. 214 00:09:27,998 --> 00:09:30,770 ♫ I got this from my mama, all this stuff right here ♫ 215 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:33,272 Ooh! (Whistle blows) 216 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,605 Running out of colors here, Blair. 217 00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:38,107 And I'm running out of Patience. Enough, okay? 218 00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:41,981 It's enough when I say it's enough. 219 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,683 ♫ Ladies ♫ 220 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,284 ♫ l-l-ladies ♫ 221 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,187 Whoa! 222 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,759 Oh! (Whistle blows) 223 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,060 (Blair groans) God! 224 00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:52,992 (Whistle blows) (Man) Girls, break it up! 225 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,024 Get off of me! Is that enough yet?! 226 00:09:55,025 --> 00:09:58,768 ♫ She pretty like her mama, and if her mama real ugly ♫ 227 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:02,031 So we've actually come to physical blows, huh? 228 00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:05,004 Truce? 229 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,836 Ow! My leg! 230 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,608 (Man) Serena, you're out of here. (Kati) Oh, my gosh. 231 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,310 Ow. Ow. I hope it's broken. 232 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,012 Hey, upper east siders. 233 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,845 We hear that world war III just broke out, 234 00:10:15,846 --> 00:10:18,017 and it's wearing kneesocks. 235 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,019 Choose your side or run and hide. 236 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,352 We have a feeling this one's to the death. 237 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,701 And I think I can answer your question in three parts. 238 00:10:31,702 --> 00:10:34,103 And I'd like to start with the third part first, 239 00:10:34,104 --> 00:10:36,165 if it's cool, unless, uh, that would be confusing. 240 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,768 In which case, I can start at the beginning. (Chuckles) 241 00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:42,111 Um, the dartmouth "principles of community" 242 00:10:42,112 --> 00:10:44,243 highlight integrity, 243 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:47,116 responsibility and consideration. 244 00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:51,220 Uh, well, from St. Jude's, I've learned integrity. 245 00:10:51,221 --> 00:10:54,183 From being an older brother, I have learned responsibility, 246 00:10:54,184 --> 00:10:55,925 and from my parents, 247 00:10:55,926 --> 00:11:00,289 who have sacrificed everything to send me to this school, 248 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,661 I've learned consideration. 249 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,264 It really comes down to one thing... 250 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:09,238 Dartmouth is my dream, 251 00:11:09,239 --> 00:11:12,742 and I've never asked dartmouth, but... 252 00:11:12,743 --> 00:11:15,444 I think it's been dreaming of me. 253 00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:18,277 That... that was a joke, 254 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:22,051 or an attempt at one. 255 00:11:22,052 --> 00:11:23,382 Next question. 256 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,856 (Man) You are the ideal dartmouth candidate. 257 00:11:26,857 --> 00:11:28,257 Thank you, sir. 258 00:11:28,258 --> 00:11:30,459 And it would be an honor to attend dartmouth. 259 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:35,064 I've grown up hearing all about it from my father. 260 00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:37,366 I'm just not sure it's my first choice, 261 00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:41,000 and if there's only one Usher position available, 262 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:46,035 I'm sure there's someone who wants it more than me. 263 00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:50,911 Why should I be chosen to be an Usher? 264 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,717 I'm Chuck bass. 265 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,321 ♫♫ 266 00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:11,962 (Mr. Tedrow) Excuse me. 267 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,105 Hey. 268 00:12:16,106 --> 00:12:17,106 Hey. 269 00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:19,168 You get the one you wanted? 270 00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:20,970 Uh... 271 00:12:20,971 --> 00:12:24,875 No. No, actually, you did... 272 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,880 Which makes total sense because I'm second in our class, 273 00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,822 and you're somewhere around... 274 00:12:32,823 --> 00:12:35,454 What, I don't know, uh, last? 275 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,086 No hard feelings, huh? 276 00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:39,088 Why should there be? I mean, how many libraries 277 00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:41,760 has your dad had to endow to get you this spot? 278 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,834 You've earned it. Look, man, you don't know anything about my family. 279 00:12:44,835 --> 00:12:46,836 I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. 280 00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:49,068 I'm sure j.L. Hall will be very impressed 281 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,801 with your passion for the dartmouth experience. 282 00:12:51,802 --> 00:12:55,004 Who the hell is j.L. Hall? He's the Ivy rep. 283 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:57,006 You might want to pick up his book 284 00:12:57,007 --> 00:12:59,408 if you want anything to talk about. 285 00:12:59,409 --> 00:13:02,011 "The petting zoo"... 286 00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,383 That's the name of his book. 287 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,161 Whoa. Angry guy, huh? 288 00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:14,964 Short fuse. I'm trying to work on that. 289 00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:17,927 Well, let me know how that goes for you. 290 00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:20,129 Yeah, I'll... I'll keep you posted. 291 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:23,102 It's a tough week. Not for me, apparently. 292 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:25,574 Oh, you got an Usher position? No, I didn't. 293 00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:28,437 Uh, in an ironic though not totally unexpected twist, 294 00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:31,080 Nate got the one I wanted. 295 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:33,282 I'm sorry. 296 00:13:33,283 --> 00:13:36,986 Yeah, well, I guess that's life when you're not a legacy. 297 00:13:36,987 --> 00:13:38,988 Well, hey, just 'cause you're not an Usher 298 00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:40,990 doesn't mean you're not gonna get into an Ivy. 299 00:13:40,991 --> 00:13:43,492 Yeah? Wh... uh, where'd your parents go to school? 300 00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,995 Harvard and brown. 301 00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:48,128 That's... that's all I'm saying. 302 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,005 ♫♫ 303 00:13:56,506 --> 00:14:00,009 I can't believe Serena did this. Yeah, such a cheap shot. 304 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,211 (Cell phone rings) 305 00:14:02,212 --> 00:14:03,943 (Beep) Finally. 306 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,876 Hello to you, too. I heard about the field hockey throw down. 307 00:14:06,877 --> 00:14:09,018 All those mouth guards and short skirts... 308 00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:11,020 I hope somebody filmed it. 309 00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:14,283 (Scoffs) You're heinous. Which is probably why you called. 310 00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:16,055 You know me well. 311 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,557 Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better. 312 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:22,131 My leg's numb now. How about a heating pad? 313 00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:23,633 Sure. Okay. 314 00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:31,200 Serena came home for a reason. 315 00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,442 One can only guess. I'm done guessing. 316 00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:36,345 I want answers, and no one likes to be 317 00:14:36,346 --> 00:14:39,478 on the ground floor of a scandal like Chuck bass. I am a bitch when I wanna be. 318 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,352 Opportunity to cause some trouble, uncover a secret? 319 00:14:43,353 --> 00:14:45,185 Take "yes" for an answer. 320 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,320 (Window rolls down) 321 00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:52,621 Let's turn back to school. 322 00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:55,094 I left something important behind. 323 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,298 ♫♫ 324 00:15:01,071 --> 00:15:02,601 (Car horn honks) 325 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,975 Oh, Danny boy, how was your day? 326 00:15:05,976 --> 00:15:09,108 He's about to hype dinner. 'Cause no matter how good it was, 327 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,240 it's about to get a lot better. 328 00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:13,642 I've outdone myself with the bolognese. 329 00:15:13,643 --> 00:15:15,644 ♫♫ 330 00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:18,417 (Man) ♫ tray tables up ♫ 331 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,620 ♫ time for the test ♫ 332 00:15:22,392 --> 00:15:24,153 ♫ we're going down ♫ 333 00:15:24,154 --> 00:15:25,924 (Knocks on door) 334 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,428 ♫ we did our best ♫ 335 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,332 (Muffled) Sorry about the melodramatic entrance. 336 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,704 You didn't get it? 337 00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:40,009 No, I didn't get it. 338 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:42,941 (Sighs deeply) 339 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,713 And that I do not get. 340 00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:46,215 They... 341 00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:48,947 They gave it to Nate... 342 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,680 (Muffled) Archibald! 343 00:15:52,522 --> 00:15:53,622 Oh! 344 00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:56,285 ♫ Bad things don't happen ♫ 345 00:15:56,286 --> 00:16:00,189 Last year, uh, I believe he had an original thought. 346 00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:02,091 It died of loneliness. 347 00:16:02,092 --> 00:16:04,233 ♫ This can't be happening ♫ 348 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:05,734 I'm sorry. 349 00:16:05,735 --> 00:16:07,296 You're sorry? 350 00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:09,368 Yeah, I know how much you and mom sacrificed. 351 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,271 The whole reason you send us to a school like this 352 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,443 is so we can go to a college of our choice. 353 00:16:14,444 --> 00:16:17,276 What if that's all for nothing? 354 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,078 It's not, okay? 355 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,380 It's not. 356 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,382 So you don't get to be the Usher 357 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,454 of some whatever party. 358 00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:29,288 Dad, can I just, um, stew alone for awhile? 359 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,322 ♫ And then I still care ♫ 360 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:47,005 We're Humphreys, dad. 361 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,078 Not exactly royalty uptown. 362 00:16:49,079 --> 00:16:51,110 Are you okay with that? 363 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,343 No, 364 00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,216 but I'm used to it. 365 00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:02,122 ♫♫ 366 00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:31,820 This is way too good. (Dialing cell phone) 367 00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:35,554 (Cell phone rings) 368 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,387 (Ring) 369 00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:40,359 (Ring) 370 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,791 Mom, how's Paris? 371 00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,633 You're not going to believe 372 00:17:44,634 --> 00:17:47,166 where I found our little Princess. 373 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,368 Really? 374 00:17:51,601 --> 00:17:54,574 ♫♫ 375 00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:00,349 (Mouse button clicking) (Chuck) Admit it. 376 00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:02,581 Even for me, this was good. If you weren't such a perv, 377 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,414 I'm sure the c.I.A. Would hire you in a second. 378 00:18:05,415 --> 00:18:07,356 Defending my country... there's a future I never imagined. 379 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:10,419 With good reason. What is she doing there? 380 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,321 Well, what's anyone doing there? 381 00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:15,194 It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted. 382 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,466 You must have your own wing. 383 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:20,669 You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit. 384 00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:23,672 So the question is, what do you do now? 385 00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:26,275 Well, I was thinking... 386 00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:28,577 Total social destruction. 387 00:18:28,578 --> 00:18:31,880 And here I thought you were getting soft. 388 00:18:31,881 --> 00:18:35,184 So this is your bed, huh? 389 00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,415 Leaving now. 390 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:40,219 You can repay me another time. 391 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,321 (Door opens) 392 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,154 (Door closes) 393 00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:48,827 I've been in these sessions every day for the last week, 394 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:52,431 but nothing is going to change unless she stops hiding him here 395 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,433 and lets him have his life back. 396 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,435 This is not called hiding, Serena. 397 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,136 It's called recovery. 398 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,370 Telling everyone he's staying with aunt Carol in Miami? 399 00:19:01,371 --> 00:19:03,912 He's not ready. He's not, or you're not? 400 00:19:03,913 --> 00:19:06,545 Okay, let's take a deep breath. 401 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,617 It's good to see honest conversation. 402 00:19:08,618 --> 00:19:11,450 What does she know about honesty? Serena. 403 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,783 But I really think a decision like this includes Eric as well. 404 00:19:14,784 --> 00:19:18,187 Oh, you mean I have a say in this? Wow. Thanks. 405 00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:20,629 Eric, of course. We're here for you. 406 00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:23,432 Look, if you're ready to leave, you tell us, okay? 407 00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,534 No matter what mom says. 408 00:19:25,535 --> 00:19:29,539 I would really like to get out of here... 409 00:19:33,643 --> 00:19:35,504 Oh, no. 410 00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:38,408 But maybe I'm not ready yet. 411 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:43,552 Hey, what about for a few hours? 412 00:19:43,553 --> 00:19:46,515 You can be my date to the Ivy week party tonight. 413 00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:48,417 Serena, that party is an important event for you. 414 00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,519 Well, he'll be around people he knows. 415 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,361 It'll be fun, comfortable. 416 00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:55,494 Uh, actually, that sounds great. (Woman) Well, there we go. 417 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:59,628 Compromise. That wasn't so hard, was it? 418 00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:02,571 You know what? I have to go, 419 00:20:02,572 --> 00:20:05,704 help them set up for tonight at the school. 420 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,477 It's my job as both parent committee chair 421 00:20:08,478 --> 00:20:10,539 and responsible mother. 422 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,582 (Coughs) 423 00:20:16,746 --> 00:20:18,547 It'll be great, okay? 424 00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:20,550 (Indistinct conversations) 425 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,525 Hi. How are you? Good. 426 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,527 Rufus Humphrey. Mm-hmm. 427 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,399 Uh, my kid, Dan, goes to St. Jude's, 428 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,531 and he really should have been selected as dartmouth's Usher. 429 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,533 Maybe there was a mix-up, 430 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,465 some kind of a glitch in the system? 431 00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:38,437 I'd like to believe that 432 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,410 because I like to believe the best in people. I'm sorry, Mr. Humphrey. 433 00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:43,512 The Usher positions have been filled. 434 00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:46,645 There's nothing we can do. Uh, is there anything else? Any other positions? 435 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,548 Uh, you'll have to discuss this with our committee chairwoman. 436 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,551 Sure, perfect. I'd love to. Where can I find her? 437 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,553 I'm not sure. She must be running late. I... 438 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,427 Oh, there she is now. 439 00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:01,930 Why am I not surprised? 440 00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:04,993 Lucky for you, she seems to be in a good mood. 441 00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:07,596 Until she sees me. 442 00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:09,368 Rufus. 443 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,370 Told ya. Excuse me. 444 00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:14,744 You got a minute, lil? Not for you. 445 00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:20,680 ♫♫ 446 00:21:24,754 --> 00:21:26,014 You're in. 447 00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:28,617 What? The Ivy week party tonight. 448 00:21:28,618 --> 00:21:30,959 Your name will be on the program and everything. 449 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,723 You got me the dartmouth spot? I knew you could do it, dad. 450 00:21:34,724 --> 00:21:37,426 (Scoffs) No, you didn't, and no, I didn't. 451 00:21:37,427 --> 00:21:40,799 How do you feel about the refreshment committee? Well, there is... there is no refreshment committee. 452 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,901 Not until now. Oh, god. 453 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,404 What? Everybody gets thirsty. It's really a position of power. 454 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,976 How did you secure me this prominent 455 00:21:47,977 --> 00:21:51,610 and simultaneously embarrassing position? By offering my own services. 456 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,011 Serving snacks? 457 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,585 I'm the head of the entertainment committee. 458 00:21:56,586 --> 00:21:59,588 (Chuckles) A-another committee that didn't exist 459 00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:01,590 until you left the house today. 460 00:22:01,591 --> 00:22:04,423 Way to go, dad. Wait. So who's the entertainment? 461 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:06,425 Uh, since it was such short notice, 462 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,957 the only person I could get was myself. 463 00:22:08,958 --> 00:22:12,060 Kind of a staid affair for early '90s postpunk math rock, 464 00:22:12,061 --> 00:22:13,532 don't you think? 465 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,534 I'm bringing a couple of the guys. 466 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,536 It'll be Rufus unplugged. Need a roadie? 467 00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:20,409 Thanks, sweetie. Should I call mom, 468 00:22:20,410 --> 00:22:23,341 and we can just make this a full-fledged Humphrey affair? 469 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,343 Look, I did the best I could. 470 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,377 At least you get to officially be a part of this thing. 471 00:22:28,378 --> 00:22:30,619 You can talk to that author you love, 472 00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:33,852 ask him anything you want. Like his, uh, preference for soft drinks? 473 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:37,386 ♫♫ 474 00:22:37,387 --> 00:22:39,658 If you get at all anxious, sweetie, 475 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,830 if you feel light-headed or panicky... 476 00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:43,061 I'll be fine, mom. 477 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:45,964 All I have to do is be normal. 478 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,896 Or at least act normal. 479 00:22:47,897 --> 00:22:50,470 Works for mom. 480 00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:56,004 (Slow-tempo guitar playing) 481 00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:58,778 (Speaks indistinctly) 482 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,013 (All speaking indistinctly) 483 00:23:05,014 --> 00:23:07,817 (Lily clears throat) 484 00:23:09,519 --> 00:23:12,390 Do you see the Yale rep? 485 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,392 I thought you wanted to go to brown, 486 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,495 and Blair wanted to go to Yale. 487 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,697 Yeah, I know. 488 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:20,600 Mm. 489 00:23:25,134 --> 00:23:28,136 My father would never forgive me if I didn't introduce myself. 490 00:23:28,137 --> 00:23:30,679 He says that you two used to do crew together. 491 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,910 Crew? 492 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,443 Oh, hi. I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen. 493 00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:36,084 Blair, I didn't know you were interested in doing crew. 494 00:23:36,085 --> 00:23:38,747 I'm not. I was just saying that there's a family connection 495 00:23:38,748 --> 00:23:40,749 because of my father... In fact, I didn't know 496 00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:42,751 you were interested in athletics at all. 497 00:23:42,752 --> 00:23:45,524 Well, especially ones where you might get your hair wet. 498 00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,856 She's really more of the indoors type of girl. 499 00:23:47,857 --> 00:23:50,529 Oh, my goodness. Your glass is almost empty. 500 00:23:50,530 --> 00:23:53,562 Let's get you a drink. Uh, no, I'll take him. 501 00:23:53,563 --> 00:23:56,565 Oh, don't worry about it. So tell me about Yale. 502 00:23:56,566 --> 00:23:59,669 (Music continues) 503 00:24:03,473 --> 00:24:04,843 Can you please explain 504 00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:06,845 how Serena's commandeering the Yale rep 505 00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,947 while you're supposed to be his Usher? 506 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,649 I switched. 507 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:15,083 I'm trying to get into Princeton. 508 00:24:15,084 --> 00:24:17,455 Oh, don't your la perlas in a bunch. 509 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:20,128 Look who's arrived... Dr. Ostroff. 510 00:24:20,129 --> 00:24:22,491 Blair, Dr. Donald ostroff. 511 00:24:22,492 --> 00:24:24,593 Interesting choice of guest, b. 512 00:24:24,594 --> 00:24:26,995 Such a pleasure. I've heard s-such wonderful things... 513 00:24:26,996 --> 00:24:29,198 Coincidence? I think not. 514 00:24:33,803 --> 00:24:35,944 I liked your book. 515 00:24:35,945 --> 00:24:39,608 Oh, thanks. What did you think of the epilogue? 516 00:24:39,609 --> 00:24:41,479 Some people really love it. 517 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,783 "The New York times" called it a "cheap cop-out." 518 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,655 Warner Bros. Is making a movie. 519 00:24:46,656 --> 00:24:48,717 I think they're gonna change the end. 520 00:24:48,718 --> 00:24:50,719 Well, I can see how the ending 521 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,122 might not seem all that... Commercial. 522 00:24:54,123 --> 00:24:55,764 Uh... 523 00:24:55,765 --> 00:24:58,166 Would you like something to drink? 524 00:24:58,167 --> 00:24:59,828 Lily, how are you? 525 00:24:59,829 --> 00:25:03,271 Oh, Bart, hello. How are you? 526 00:25:03,272 --> 00:25:05,503 Hey, Eric. 527 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,706 How's, uh, Miami? 528 00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:09,838 It was good, thanks. 529 00:25:09,839 --> 00:25:11,279 You know, go, marlins. 530 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,781 (Bart and Lily chuckle) 531 00:25:12,782 --> 00:25:14,783 Would you excuse me, please? 532 00:25:14,784 --> 00:25:16,785 So the neuroscience project I'm working on 533 00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:18,787 involves the cellular signaling pathway 534 00:25:18,788 --> 00:25:20,619 of neuronal nitric oxide synthase. 535 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:24,092 It's initiated when glutamate binds to n.M.D.A.R... 536 00:25:24,093 --> 00:25:27,525 ♫♫ 537 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,227 Hi. You're Eric, right? 538 00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:32,601 Yeah, you're Jenny, Dan's sister, right? 539 00:25:32,602 --> 00:25:34,302 Yeah, we, um, met at... 540 00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:37,035 Bendel's. Yeah, I remember. Oh, cool. 541 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:40,238 Eric, good to see you. You enjoy Miami? 542 00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:43,211 Uh, yeah. S-save the manatees. 543 00:25:43,212 --> 00:25:45,874 ♫♫ 544 00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:47,115 Manatees? 545 00:25:47,116 --> 00:25:50,018 It's a long story. I've got time. 546 00:25:50,019 --> 00:25:52,220 It's a little dark and... 547 00:25:52,221 --> 00:25:53,982 I can handle it. 548 00:25:53,983 --> 00:25:56,585 (Dan) You wanna go to Yale then? 549 00:25:56,586 --> 00:25:59,728 No, brown. It's just this thing with Blair. 550 00:25:59,729 --> 00:26:02,691 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get it. I mean, since you don't have 551 00:26:02,692 --> 00:26:04,693 to actually worry about getting into college, 552 00:26:04,694 --> 00:26:08,097 why not make the entire evening about screwing over Blair? 553 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,101 No, thanks. 554 00:26:13,102 --> 00:26:14,173 Hey. 555 00:26:16,105 --> 00:26:20,879 Wait, you're seriously not gonna talk to me? 556 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,281 Like, literally not speak? 557 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:26,615 Hey. 558 00:26:26,616 --> 00:26:29,658 Oh, much better. 559 00:26:29,659 --> 00:26:32,021 Thanks, guys. 560 00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:38,827 So, um, what's he like? 561 00:26:38,828 --> 00:26:41,029 Like a dartmouth english lit professor 562 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:43,672 I have nothing in common with. Mm. 563 00:26:43,673 --> 00:26:45,133 Guess I could tell him 564 00:26:45,134 --> 00:26:49,078 how everything I have I got because I'm an Archibald. 565 00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:54,042 You should mention Dr. Seuss. 566 00:26:54,043 --> 00:26:57,115 Theodor geisel is his real name. He went to dartmouth. 567 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:59,948 Uh, hall said he got the idea for "the petting zoo" 568 00:26:59,949 --> 00:27:01,950 from "the lorax." The what? 569 00:27:01,951 --> 00:27:03,952 Um, you know what? Never mind. 570 00:27:03,953 --> 00:27:05,954 Just... just mention how his prose style 571 00:27:05,955 --> 00:27:07,896 is influenced by early faulkner. 572 00:27:07,897 --> 00:27:09,798 You'll be all right. 573 00:27:09,799 --> 00:27:13,332 Uh, or not. 574 00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:17,135 I was actually gonna get some fresh air. 575 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:19,308 How about you take these over to him? 576 00:27:22,872 --> 00:27:24,272 All right. 577 00:27:24,273 --> 00:27:26,975 Yeah, I guess I could leave my post unmanned 578 00:27:26,976 --> 00:27:29,217 for a minute or two. 579 00:27:29,218 --> 00:27:32,221 ♫♫ 580 00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:46,866 (Exhales deeply) 581 00:27:50,239 --> 00:27:52,440 Where do you think you're going? Home. 582 00:27:52,441 --> 00:27:54,142 (Scoffs) I don't think so. 583 00:27:54,143 --> 00:27:57,706 Now you get back out there and you finish what you started. 584 00:27:57,707 --> 00:28:00,909 You mean what you started? I don't wanna go to dartmouth. 585 00:28:00,910 --> 00:28:03,883 There, I said it. Now back off. 586 00:28:06,986 --> 00:28:10,118 So we moved into the hotel, and, uh... 587 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,861 It was just the two of us, 588 00:28:12,862 --> 00:28:14,893 and I was really lonely. 589 00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:18,297 So... That's when you... 590 00:28:21,871 --> 00:28:24,132 So I ended up at the ostroff center. 591 00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:27,035 And my mom says that they have the best counselors, 592 00:28:27,036 --> 00:28:29,878 but what they really get paid for 593 00:28:29,879 --> 00:28:31,880 is to to keep their mouths shut. 594 00:28:31,881 --> 00:28:34,712 Look, I-I won't say anything. 595 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,185 I promise. 596 00:28:37,987 --> 00:28:41,719 So do you wanna go back in? 597 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,452 Yeah, and answer more questions about Florida? 598 00:28:44,453 --> 00:28:47,025 Well, I have a grandma who lives in fort Myers. 599 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:49,899 I can help think of some material. 600 00:28:56,165 --> 00:29:00,368 May I please have everyone's attention? 601 00:29:00,369 --> 00:29:02,110 Welcome again 602 00:29:02,111 --> 00:29:04,512 to the constance billard/ St. Jude's Ivy week mixer. 603 00:29:04,513 --> 00:29:05,974 I'm Blair Waldorf, 604 00:29:05,975 --> 00:29:08,217 chair of the community outreach committee. 605 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,854 Every year, our schools choose to support 606 00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:19,858 one local institution that we feel benefits our community. 607 00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,259 This year, 608 00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:24,332 our schools have chosen to honor the ostroff center. 609 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:27,236 (Applause) 610 00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:35,273 This semester, our choice is a very personal one 611 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:38,006 because the center has helped one of our own. 612 00:29:38,007 --> 00:29:40,048 What is going on here? 613 00:29:40,049 --> 00:29:42,480 It's because of their excellent program 614 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,883 which aids so many young addicts and alcoholics 615 00:29:44,884 --> 00:29:49,557 that a student here with us today is clean and sober. 616 00:29:49,558 --> 00:29:51,019 At least, for now. 617 00:29:51,020 --> 00:29:53,521 Can I please have Serena Van Der Woodsen 618 00:29:53,522 --> 00:29:55,924 join me onstage? 619 00:29:55,925 --> 00:29:57,795 Spotted at Ivy week mixer... 620 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:00,899 S. And b.'S last stand, 621 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:02,971 and only one gets out alive. 622 00:30:02,972 --> 00:30:05,374 Better take cover. 623 00:30:11,340 --> 00:30:13,511 No. No, you're not going up there. 624 00:30:13,512 --> 00:30:15,944 You're gonna stay right here, okay? 625 00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:17,385 Whatever you're doing, 626 00:30:17,386 --> 00:30:20,089 think about who's standing in this room right now. 627 00:30:26,495 --> 00:30:29,398 Don't try to deny it. Chuck saw you. 628 00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:35,363 (Applause) 629 00:30:35,364 --> 00:30:39,607 Hi. I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen. 630 00:30:39,608 --> 00:30:43,872 I just wanna thank my friend, Blair Waldorf, 631 00:30:43,873 --> 00:30:46,414 for recognizing the ostroff center 632 00:30:46,415 --> 00:30:49,347 and all of the good things that they do. 633 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:51,020 Thanks, Blair. 634 00:30:55,024 --> 00:30:56,484 At the center, 635 00:30:56,485 --> 00:30:59,257 one of the main things that we learn is forgiveness. 636 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:02,891 She's in rehab? No, it's not her. It's her brother who's there. 637 00:31:02,892 --> 00:31:05,363 What? You can't tell anyone, okay? 638 00:31:05,364 --> 00:31:07,495 I won't, but why is she doing this? 639 00:31:07,496 --> 00:31:09,597 I've learned about how, 640 00:31:09,598 --> 00:31:12,240 in order to move forward with our future, 641 00:31:12,241 --> 00:31:16,144 we must forgive those who have wronged us in the past, 642 00:31:16,145 --> 00:31:20,308 and we must, ourselves, ask for forgiveness 643 00:31:20,309 --> 00:31:23,611 from those whom we've wronged. 644 00:31:23,612 --> 00:31:26,514 Without this forgiveness, innocent people get hurt... 645 00:31:26,515 --> 00:31:29,287 All right, thank you, Serena. Thank you. Thank you. 646 00:31:29,288 --> 00:31:33,061 Honesty may be the best policy in some zip codes, 647 00:31:33,062 --> 00:31:37,325 but not in this one, and not this week, 648 00:31:37,326 --> 00:31:39,627 'cause "I was a teenage drug addict" 649 00:31:39,628 --> 00:31:42,101 is not exactly a winning college essay. 650 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:48,376 And now can I please have Dr. Ostroff join me onstage? 651 00:31:48,377 --> 00:31:50,378 Why is Blair outing you 652 00:31:50,379 --> 00:31:52,380 for a drug problem that you don't have? 653 00:31:52,381 --> 00:31:54,642 You don't, do you? Mom! 654 00:31:54,643 --> 00:31:58,516 Well, it's not like we have some free, open relationship. And that's my fault? 655 00:31:58,517 --> 00:32:00,518 Look, what's happened to Eric 656 00:32:00,519 --> 00:32:03,521 has put a huge strain on our family, 657 00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,653 but we are still a family. 658 00:32:05,654 --> 00:32:08,557 Why do you think I did what I just did? 659 00:32:10,529 --> 00:32:12,961 Will you excuse me? 660 00:32:12,962 --> 00:32:17,106 I'm gonna go end this with Blair now. 661 00:32:22,211 --> 00:32:24,312 Blair, what the hell was that? 662 00:32:24,313 --> 00:32:26,314 Will you excuse us, please? 663 00:32:26,315 --> 00:32:27,576 Sure. 664 00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:31,279 So we good now? 665 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,451 Are we square? 666 00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:35,023 No, because nothing I do 667 00:32:35,024 --> 00:32:37,385 will ever be as bad as what you did to me. 668 00:32:37,386 --> 00:32:39,427 Look, I'm asking you, please. 669 00:32:39,428 --> 00:32:41,129 I'll stop if you will. 670 00:32:41,130 --> 00:32:43,731 You're just saying that because today you lost, 671 00:32:43,732 --> 00:32:46,394 and you're gonna keep losing. 672 00:32:46,395 --> 00:32:48,396 Now if you'll excuse me, unlike you, 673 00:32:48,397 --> 00:32:51,299 I have a future to get back to. 674 00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,403 ♫♫ 675 00:33:02,181 --> 00:33:03,681 Serena. 676 00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:06,654 Serena! What? What, do you want to congratulate me 677 00:33:06,655 --> 00:33:09,417 on destroying my future? No, no, no, no, no, no. 678 00:33:09,418 --> 00:33:11,419 I just wanted to ask if you're okay, 679 00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:13,661 'cause what you did in there for your brother, 680 00:33:13,662 --> 00:33:16,124 that was... That was very cool. 681 00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:19,127 Wait, how did you know about my brother? It... it's okay. 682 00:33:19,128 --> 00:33:21,599 Really, no one will ever hear it from me, 683 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,173 but if you ever need anybody to talk to, 684 00:33:25,174 --> 00:33:28,606 or not talk to, 685 00:33:28,607 --> 00:33:31,008 I'd be happy to do either. 686 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,711 I'll keep that in mind. 687 00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:36,444 And, um, 688 00:33:36,445 --> 00:33:39,447 I know I said some things about you 689 00:33:39,448 --> 00:33:42,019 and your world, 690 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,092 and I'm sorry. 691 00:33:44,093 --> 00:33:48,696 Obviously, I don't know anything about your life. 692 00:33:48,697 --> 00:33:50,798 Thank you, 693 00:33:50,799 --> 00:33:53,461 but I've really got to get out of here. 694 00:33:53,462 --> 00:33:55,103 Yeah, sure, sure. 695 00:33:55,104 --> 00:33:57,435 But... 696 00:33:57,436 --> 00:33:59,267 Maybe, you know, I can take you up 697 00:33:59,268 --> 00:34:03,142 on that getting together and not talking thing sometime? 698 00:34:04,813 --> 00:34:06,814 Will you call me? 699 00:34:06,815 --> 00:34:09,677 Yeah. 700 00:34:09,678 --> 00:34:11,120 (Mouths word) 701 00:34:15,584 --> 00:34:18,556 Okay, let's go. Let's get out of here. 702 00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:21,389 No, there's someone I need to talk to first. 703 00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:23,791 Please, mom, I can do this. 704 00:34:23,792 --> 00:34:26,234 Okay. 705 00:34:26,235 --> 00:34:29,267 Blair, can I talk to you? It'll just take a moment. 706 00:34:29,268 --> 00:34:32,671 Sure. Sure. 707 00:34:38,677 --> 00:34:41,249 Serena's not a patient at the ostroff center. 708 00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:44,452 Eric, you've always been a sweet kid, and I can understand you 709 00:34:44,453 --> 00:34:46,814 trying to protect your sister... I am. 710 00:34:46,815 --> 00:34:49,317 I've never even seen you take a drink. 711 00:34:49,318 --> 00:34:50,818 I'm not an alcoholic. 712 00:34:50,819 --> 00:34:53,822 I did this. 713 00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:58,567 And today, Serena protected me. 714 00:35:02,271 --> 00:35:03,731 Eric, I... 715 00:35:03,732 --> 00:35:05,203 I didn't... 716 00:35:05,204 --> 00:35:06,804 See that coming? Yeah. 717 00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,676 Oh, it must be a shock 718 00:35:08,677 --> 00:35:11,309 for someone who thinks she knows everything. 719 00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:14,743 ♫♫ 720 00:35:17,646 --> 00:35:19,817 And what was that all about? 721 00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:22,250 Another bomb lands in Blair's lap. 722 00:35:22,251 --> 00:35:24,692 Will she use it as ammunition, 723 00:35:24,693 --> 00:35:28,156 or will she finally surrender and put down her arms? 724 00:35:28,157 --> 00:35:29,458 Nothing. 725 00:35:36,665 --> 00:35:39,767 So you really impressed the guy, huh? 726 00:35:39,768 --> 00:35:43,141 Must be the way you poured those sodas. 727 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:48,216 Yeah, about that, uh... 728 00:35:48,217 --> 00:35:51,349 I know I may have been a little light on the gratitude... 729 00:35:51,350 --> 00:35:52,850 Yeah, a touch. 730 00:35:52,851 --> 00:35:56,584 But I appreciate it, all of it, 731 00:35:56,585 --> 00:35:59,487 even if I sometimes don't show it. 732 00:35:59,488 --> 00:36:00,828 We're real men, son. 733 00:36:00,829 --> 00:36:04,432 We don't like to share our feelings. 734 00:36:04,433 --> 00:36:06,594 But... 735 00:36:06,595 --> 00:36:08,836 I know what you're capable of, 736 00:36:08,837 --> 00:36:10,298 and nothing... 737 00:36:10,299 --> 00:36:11,869 My last name, 738 00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:13,401 my bank account... 739 00:36:13,402 --> 00:36:17,345 Is gonna keep you from getting what you deserve, 740 00:36:17,346 --> 00:36:19,407 not if I can help it. 741 00:36:19,408 --> 00:36:20,808 And I see that dartmouth 742 00:36:20,809 --> 00:36:23,651 has an electroacoustic music program. 743 00:36:23,652 --> 00:36:26,214 What do you think of me applying? What? 744 00:36:26,215 --> 00:36:29,357 Yeah, and Jenny's smart. We'll get her early admission. 745 00:36:29,358 --> 00:36:31,319 Maybe we'll all go. 746 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,793 So not remotely funny. 747 00:36:36,595 --> 00:36:41,569 (Cell phone ringing and vibrating) 748 00:36:41,570 --> 00:36:45,903 (Ring) 749 00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:47,275 Nate. 750 00:36:47,276 --> 00:36:48,806 (Ring) 751 00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:50,778 Huh? 752 00:36:50,779 --> 00:36:52,610 (Ring) 753 00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:53,981 (Beep) 754 00:36:53,982 --> 00:36:55,514 Hello? 755 00:36:57,646 --> 00:37:00,518 Oh, yeah, I'll be right there. 756 00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:03,521 Where the hell could you possibly have to be right now? 757 00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:06,395 I'm late for a run with my dad. 758 00:37:07,456 --> 00:37:09,457 Who's Jessica? 759 00:37:09,458 --> 00:37:11,659 (Chuckles) Aw, Jersey girls. 760 00:37:11,660 --> 00:37:13,261 Let's just say 761 00:37:13,262 --> 00:37:16,565 they're the Princeton tigers for a reason. 762 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:20,569 All right, I'll see ya. 763 00:37:22,411 --> 00:37:23,911 (Captain) You feel this? Feeling good? 764 00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:26,714 Good. All right, 'cause I'm gonna... 765 00:37:26,715 --> 00:37:30,748 Hey, good to see you, son. Turns out jed's a runner, too. I would have never mentioned it 766 00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:33,621 if I knew he was gonna get me out here this early. I'm glad to see 767 00:37:33,622 --> 00:37:36,284 you're feeling better, Nate. I was, uh, just telling jed 768 00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:38,856 about your little bout of food poisoning last night. 769 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:42,790 What do you say, kiddo? You want to show him how it's done? Let's go. 770 00:37:42,791 --> 00:37:45,763 Nate is the captain of his lacrosse team, 771 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,896 as well as being an all-star cross-country runner. 772 00:37:48,897 --> 00:37:50,768 (Thunder rumbles) 773 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:53,702 (Rain falling) 774 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,478 Hi. Hey! 775 00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:03,611 Um, is it okay that I'm here? 776 00:38:03,612 --> 00:38:05,553 Yeah. Hi. 777 00:38:05,554 --> 00:38:06,984 Uh, will your mom be mad? 778 00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:10,688 That you're here? That would require her stopping by. 779 00:38:10,689 --> 00:38:13,691 Saturday mornings are spent at bliss, and after last night, 780 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:16,824 I think she could use some extra time on the massage table. 781 00:38:16,825 --> 00:38:20,568 Right. Well, here. 782 00:38:20,569 --> 00:38:22,470 Somebody has an admirer. 783 00:38:22,471 --> 00:38:25,533 They're for my sister... From the brown rep. 784 00:38:25,534 --> 00:38:28,075 Um, apparently his cousin did some time here in his youth. 785 00:38:28,076 --> 00:38:29,977 Well, that's good, right? 786 00:38:29,978 --> 00:38:32,980 I mean, at least her entire future isn't blown. I don't think 787 00:38:32,981 --> 00:38:36,384 that's making her feel a whole lot better right now. 788 00:38:36,385 --> 00:38:39,448 ♫♫ 789 00:38:41,950 --> 00:38:44,893 (Footsteps approaching) 790 00:38:51,430 --> 00:38:53,431 Whenever something's bothering you, 791 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:55,433 I can always find you here. 792 00:38:55,434 --> 00:38:57,535 (Clears throat) 793 00:38:57,536 --> 00:39:00,469 You here for another catfight? 794 00:39:04,973 --> 00:39:06,414 What's that? 795 00:39:06,415 --> 00:39:07,945 A letter. 796 00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:11,048 I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. 797 00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:13,782 I never sent it. 798 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,926 "Dear Serena, 799 00:39:18,927 --> 00:39:21,529 "my world is falling apart, 800 00:39:21,530 --> 00:39:23,931 "and you're the only one who would understand. 801 00:39:23,932 --> 00:39:30,367 "My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model... 802 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:33,941 "A male model. 803 00:39:33,942 --> 00:39:35,543 "I feel like screaming 804 00:39:35,544 --> 00:39:39,106 "because I don't have anyone to talk to. 805 00:39:39,107 --> 00:39:41,148 "You're gone..." 806 00:39:41,149 --> 00:39:42,610 (Paper rustles) 807 00:39:42,611 --> 00:39:44,982 "My dad's gone. 808 00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:47,154 Nate's acting weird." 809 00:39:47,155 --> 00:39:50,117 (Voice breaks) "Where are you? 810 00:39:50,118 --> 00:39:52,491 Why don't you call?" 811 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,565 "Why did you leave without saying good-bye? 812 00:39:57,566 --> 00:40:00,828 "You're supposed to be my best friend. 813 00:40:00,829 --> 00:40:03,130 I miss you so much." 814 00:40:03,131 --> 00:40:05,172 (Sighs deeply) 815 00:40:05,173 --> 00:40:07,476 "Love, Blair." (Paper rustles) 816 00:40:10,509 --> 00:40:13,040 Why didn't you send it? 817 00:40:13,041 --> 00:40:14,812 I would've... 818 00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,485 You would've what? 819 00:40:18,687 --> 00:40:21,449 You knew, Serena, 820 00:40:21,450 --> 00:40:23,921 and you didn't even call. 821 00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:27,725 (Voice breaks) I didn't know what to say to you 822 00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:31,500 or even how to be your friend after what I did. 823 00:40:34,663 --> 00:40:36,865 I'm so sorry. 824 00:40:40,809 --> 00:40:42,910 Eric told me what happened. 825 00:40:42,911 --> 00:40:47,746 I guess your family's been going through a hard time, too. 826 00:40:49,177 --> 00:40:51,178 Spotted in central park... 827 00:40:51,179 --> 00:40:53,651 Two white flags waving. 828 00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:56,954 Could an Upper East Side peace accord be far off? 829 00:40:56,955 --> 00:41:00,628 So what will it be... Truce or consequences? 830 00:41:00,629 --> 00:41:05,132 We all know one nation can't have two queens. 831 00:41:05,133 --> 00:41:06,694 What happens next? 832 00:41:06,695 --> 00:41:08,566 Only time will tell. 833 00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:11,870 X.o.x.o., gossip girl.